Date: 9th March 2014 at 4:02pm
Written by:

We who are about to fall into your back pocket, salute you!

Have you heard of the ruthless warrior who is on a mission to pocket the world? He was in Spain, he used to be in France, now he is in England, in Roman’s empire and he has a knack of pocketing whoever stands in his way.

His name, Emperor Cesar Augustus. Azpilicueta? How do you say that? You know what, just call him Dave.

So yesterday Dave added to his victims, as Tim ‘not so bright ‘Sherwood in all his wisdom, thought Kyle Walker would actually cause Dave enough trouble. . According to Jose, it is only ‘natural’ that Dave pockets any RB who comes up against him, more so Walker. Maybe if Lennon was on the pitch yesterday, it would’ve been different… Oh wait he too was pocketed, my bad.

If I were a footballer, I wouldn’t want to go AWOL in any game, but when it is inevitable, I’ll rather jump into Bosingwa’s pocket thanDave’s. It’s pretty stuffy in there – Bale, Walcott, Coutinho,
Valencia, Lennon, how do you breathe in there?

However, Dave’s best attributes are discipline, passion and commitment to the team. Even as a left back he is ready to dash across and provide cover at right back when Ivanovic goes up for a set piece.

This attitude has drawn praise from Jose Mourinho, who can’t hide his admiration for the lad, opining that ‘a team of 11 Azpilicueta’s would win the champions league’. When you get such remarks from the master navigator, you know you’re really good.

As days go by that £7 million we paid to acquire Dave, looks ridiculous, utterly ridiculous. So Chelsea and Emenalo don’t know how to get good deals? In your face.

Operation Stuff-Walker-And-Spurs complete, next destination Villa Park. Cesar is coming, he’s coming to take it all.