Date: 12th August 2017 at 5:47pm
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Imagine the scene, we`re inside the dressing room for the first time in the new season, in what could be a regular feature.

The team are all sat down, Conte has done his post-match press conference, he`s entertained the journalists and headed off into the inner sanctum of Stamford Bridge.

His presence has been requested, those who run the club want to have a word.

The first question heads Conte`s way it`s the small matter of why Chelsea lost.

Conte, those steely eyes focused straight ahead, just replies,

“Squad size, we have no depth, it is not the way to operate, I can`t work, work, work, my players if I have none.”

But we bought you three, is the reply, to which Conte replies,

“But you sold many more, my squad is not big enough, I don`t even know if I can find an eleven to start against Tottenham next weekend, now that I am without Cahill and Fabregas and Hazard, Bakayoko, Pedro are injured and Moses is also suspended.”

Cahill, he`s the captain isn`t he, a centre back, why not try that man Zouma in his place?

“Because, you loaned him out.”

Hmm, good point. How about JT?

“He`s gone now, he`s a Villain”

Pick someone from the squad Kalas perhaps, or even Hector?

“How? You`ve loaned all of them out, Kalas is at Fulham, he got sent off as well, he`s suspended and Hector has been loaned to the Russian at Hull..”

Hmm, what about Fabregas, surely that Matic fellow can fit in, or Chalobah or Loftus-Cheek?

“Impossible, sold, sold, and sent out on loan. It is becoming impossible, “

But things weren`t that bad, we came back from 3-0 down, to only lose 3-2, but for the referee we could easily have drew.

“No! No! No! I have to beat Tottenham after I criticised them about lacking ambition, it has to be done.”

So, what do we have to do in the next few days?

“Buy, buy and buy, give me three players, a centre back, a midfielder and a striker.”

Three, are you sure, after all we won the title last year so we must be good.

“Work, work, work, go buy otherwise it might be goodbye.”

And with that the door was opened, Conte exited and the door slammed shut.

Touchy fellow was all that could be heard from that all hearing spot on the wall.


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