Chelsea – Crime Stats Rise!

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Listening to the older generation you’d be quite inclined to believe that crime is on the increase, that we’re fast becoming a lawless society. Today, I’d tend to agree with those who argue it was safer in their days, that crime was a dirty word.

Let me expand. It transpires that after the excellent victory over Barcelona two low-life`s took the opportunity to either blag their way into the Chelsea dressing room or sneak past a couple of guards who were probably distracted by other matters. The net result being that a pair of football boots belonging to John Terry was subsequently swiped.

Now it’s not a secret that JT treasures his kit. During the 2004-2005 title winning campaign he was miffed, to say the least, when he was forced to throw his shirt into the travelling support at Ewood Park. His desire to keep and frame every match worn shirt from that campaign was subsequently thwarted. Indeed, an appeal launched by John offered a reward for its return.

Quite how he feels about his boots we’re not at liberty to discuss. John has recently taken to wearing boots with the tongue of each boot carrying the name of one of his beloved twins. However, the elders, I keep referring to, would be more than pleased that the two culprits have been apprehended, no doubt they’d suggest that birching or a two year spell of national service would be a more than apt punishment.

I`d like to think that the theft was a prank that went too far or was perhaps carried out by someone desperate for cash, although I`m not condoning the act.

Sadly, the urge to add to the crime statistics extends as far north as Salford. Speaking in the eve of his twenty-first birthday Wayne Rooney remarked,

“We want to stay above Chelsea and if we`re still in with a shout for the League approaching the last couple of games of the season, hopefully we can nick it off them.”

Clearly, the brief spell Rooney had with one of the elders of the world`s oldest profession did little to enhance his fortitude to stay on the straight and narrow.

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