Date: 3rd February 2016 at 12:57pm
Written by:

There is definitely zero requirement to recap on our season thus far, in fact it kind of reminds me of a time I had to meet my girlfriends parents.

I was completely over confident, got totally drunk and whilst in the mist of my exuberance I quite seriously told her father how much I loved his daughter and quipped that his future grandchild would have no problem climbing out. Needless to say, there is no grandchild, the girlfriends an ex and let`s just say some things a best left forgotten.

Now, if I’m correct I think the whole ‘it’s Jose’s fault it’s not Jose’s fault’ debates are gladly coming to an end, so let`s celebrate, roll that one up and smoke it because it was seriously was disturbing my glorious morning VitalCchelsea reads that feel like they’ve been fundamental since adolescence.

Let`s get one thing clear, we’re all a bit fickle and love a bitch and moan. Personally, I use Vital Chelsea to prevent me from punching every 3rd person I meet. So far, on my 5 years of being a member there have been zero deaths and only one GBH charge but he was a Gooner and my 4g signal was down for a few hours, too bad for the poor chap and residents overlooking the fences with the most shoddy paintwork Edmonton has ever seen.

However, this season I’m starting to find this new inner peace I’d like to share with you all. I bump in to Arsenal fans nervous about their next game and instead of wanting to punch them too I find myself toying with their fragile emotions. I’ve sworn never to wear another football teams shirt but if this season continues you may find me sporting a King Power shirt down my local high street whilst chanting ‘Ranieri-ooo Ranieri-oo’.

Finally, finally…. I feel like a Celtic fan! Anybody checked their fantasy football team lately? Of course you haven’t! My fantasy football team, like yours and every other Chelsea fan’s fantasy football team is the most pathetic in history propping up pretenders who claim to have known Mahrez, Vardy and Ighalo would score more than Lamar Odom in a Las Vegas brothel.

Yet, strangely I’m starting to love this little feeling as if my footballing chakras are all finally in union and I can just enjoy the beautiful game. Now, no one likes cry-babies, in fact I barely like babies but if I do it’s 100% the ones that shut up. The ones that look through those light beacons just hoping it continues to stay light unless their suckled food supply descends them into darkness.

I’d say that’s a reasonable demand and that brings me onto my point of reasonable demands, i.e. the January Transfer window. I’m writing this piece out of sorrow because I know there are many supporters that are in need right now, their state of depression whilst we failed to secure Messi and Suarez’s signatures is unpalatable and we must come together and help our brothers recover from this devastating news.

Seriously though, WTF did you expect to happen with an interim manager during January?

Now, we’ve managed to sign Pato who’s resurgence seem like it requires more Bob Geldof than Guus Hiddink but isn’t that half the magic, isn’t that what we’ve been craving; our own rose grown from concrete. Look at the likes of Deli Ali, Vardy, Mahrez, Deeney, Ighalo straight from lower leagues to being a stars in the Premiership. They are proper Roy of the Rovers story and maybe Pato can make his own story with us with a bit of hope.

That’s what the atmosphere at Stamford Bridge was once built on, yet in recent years the sounds have been deafened by glory searching expectation. There is more too football than just winning as many of the old school will tell you and they’re right. Some of my best times of being a Chelsea fan were when we were underdogs and pulled off the unexpected. The times where we turned up, had a go, won and I spent the rest of the weekend buzzing of achieving the impossible. There’s a touch of nostalgia going on here and I’m starting to love it, maybe some of you guys should try doing the same!

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