Date: 20th May 2012 at 7:22pm
Written by:

Picture the scene, a plush Munich hotel and a frustrated chambermaid desperate to do her duty.

This housemaid, a pretty blonde thing with her hair in pigtails and with a skirt that`s so short there not a lot left to the imagination, has repeatedly banged on the door of this plush bedroom for the last hour, but to no avail.

In desperation she tries one more time, desperate to get the room vacated for the next guest with deep pockets and a fat wallet.

Still there is no answer so she decides to bellow out loud, in the hope that the occupant can be stirred.

“Mr Platini” she cries.

“I really need you to vacate the room. I have another guest booked into it tonight”

Suddenly she can hear a noise shuffling towards the door, the handle turns and a rather dishevelled looking Michel Platini opens I remarking,

“But what`s the point, the world has ended. Despite all my best laid plans, they did it.”

“In the past I`ve used a crooked ref, I`ve labelled them the ‘axis of evil`, I`ve used my powers to fine them, to ban players but still they prevailed.”

“Hell, I even gave them the hardest semi-final I could, I threw Barcelona into their paths, but they prevailed.”

“Hell, I even placed the damn final in Munich to give Bayern every advantage. I made sure that they had four players suspended, four key player, I even made sure that the ticket allocation was a lottery, giving them 17,00 tickets but making sure the Allianz Arena was packed to the rafters with Bayern supporters, but still they prevailed.”

“But to add insult to injury, I arrived back at the hotel late last night and found that the chef`s special was something from England called ‘Cottage Pie` and that breakfast this morning was a ‘Full English` – no wonder I crawled under my duvet and stayed there.”

“I am shamed; I can never show my face in public again, not now Chelsea Football Club have won the Champions League.”

“Hell, it was all going so to plan, I was so certain Bayern would win, so certain that Bavaria would prevail and so certain that I`d be rid of that Chelsea lot from my prestige competition next season.”

“Now you see why I`ve not shown my face today.”

“Yes Mr Platini” she replied.

“But Mr Abramovich wants to know if you fancy a lift back to France in his jet this evening and enjoy a friendly chat about his wonderful night.”

And with that the door slammed shut????????.

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