What happened to an unbiased media?
Why are the media now not content to report the news but want to try to make the news?
And when did they get so spiteful?
I refer of course to the nonsense spouted forth by Marca trying to tap up Juan Mata, by claiming Jose hates him and wants him to leave (for as little as 30m dont you know).
Juan claimed yesterday he knows nothing about these reports but strangely his ‘I’m staying’ news wasn’t anything like as widely reported as the ‘I’m off to Madrid’ nonsense was. Funny that.
As the last few years have gone on, the attempts to destabilise Chelsea and cause friction in the dressing room have become more and more transparent. They dont even bother to hide it now.
Worst in this country are The Daily Mail who have a massive agenda against us and weirdly, against Fernando Torres. Worst abroad are Marca, who despised us before Jose came back, and now hate us with a passion that may never be undimmed. I do fear for their sanity if we beat a Spanish team, God forbid it should be Real, on the way to lifting the Champions League this coming season. You can actually give yourself hemorrhoids by clenching in rage that much, and grinding your teeth isnt nice for anyone. I worry that they may actually start spontaneously combusting. Weird to be hated as much as Barca by Marca, but we basically are.
What really narks them, what really boils their piss, is the idea that we have Spaniards in our team. Good ones. Ones that played for the National Team until recently (Marca we assume are working on them never playing for Spain ever again as its actually crown treason in Spain to be half decent and play abroad, let alone for Chelsea). They simply cannot get their mendacious little coconuts around the idea that they wouldnt want to come to Madrid and be rescued from their Chelsea nightmare.
Imagine their faces when they read Juan Mata’s comments about loving London and loving Chelsea.
He has either been drugged or is not actually Spanish, you can hear them spitting.
Hence the campaign of lies and vitriol about all things Chelsea.
I feel a bit sorry for Juan Mata as he’s a Madrid kid and doesn’t need the pressure from the purely political pushing from Marca. I expect he’d love to tell them to fark off, but he cant.
We can expect more nonsense from them and everyone else over the course of the coming season. God help us if we start winning. The knives will really come out then.
Have you ever played The Headline Game?
Scenario 1:
Juan Mata strikes late on to give Chelsea the points after a grim and determined battle at the Britannia.
The Sun:
JUAN NIL BLUES AS CHELSEA NICK IT
The Independent:
FOOTBALL A RARE COMMODITY AS MOURINHO BORES HIS WAY TO ANOTHER WIN.
The Daily Star:
NICE TITS LOVE (CHELSEA WIN AGAIN)
The Daily Mail:
50M FLOP TORRES DRAWS BLANK AGAIN.
ESPN:
CHELSEA OFFENCE STEAL THE WIN ONE TO NIL IN OVERTIME OVER STOKE UNITED.
Marca:
BODYBLOW TO CHELSEA AS MATA MULLS TRANSFER REQUEST AFTER LIKELY BUSTUP WITH MOURINHO
Scenario 2:
Chelsea draw 0-0 with Arsenal away at the Emirates in the League Cup with the home leg left to play at Chelsea.
The Sun:
BLUES ON BRINK
The Independent:
FOOTBALL A RARE COMMODITY AS BOREMASTER MOURINHO IS SHOWN UP BY PROFESSOR WENGER.
The Daily Star:
NICE TITS LOVE (CHELSEA DRAW)
The Daily Mail:
50M FLOP TORRES DRAWS BLANK AGAIN.
ESPN:
OFFENCE COUNTERS DEFENCE AS NO GOAL SHOTS ARE SCORED.
Marca:
BODYBLOW TO CHELSEA AS AZPILICUETA MULLS TRANSFER REQUEST AFTER LIKELY BUSTUP WITH MOURINHO
Scenario 3:
Chelsea thrash Bayer Leverkusen 4-0 in the Champions League to seal top-of-group qualification in a tough group.
The Sun:
BLUES SMASH ZE GERMANS TO WIN THE WAR AND GO THROUGH
The Independent:
TRAVESTY AS FOOTBALL A RARE COMMODITY AS BOREMASTER MOURINHO IS SHOWN UP BY GERMAN EFFICIENCY, BAYER VERY UNLUCKY.
The Daily Star:
NICE TITS LOVE (CHELSEA WIN IN EUROPE)
The Daily Mail:
FAILURE: 50M FLOP TORRES ONLY SCORES ONE AGAINST WORST TEAM IN CHAMPIONS LEAGUE HISTORY, MISSES A HATFUL.
ESPN:
AWESOME BLUES TOO HOT FOR GERMANS THEY SCORE FOUR, TAKING WINNING STREAK TO SIX IN SIX.
Marca:
BODYBLOW TO CHELSEA AS LUIZ MULLS TRANSFER REQUEST AFTER LIKELY BUSTUP WITH MOURINHO AS MADRID OFFER A WAY OUT FROM CHELSEA NIGHTMARE
Scenario 4:
Chelsea beaten by Bayern Munich in the final of the Champions League after a cracking five goal thriller in one of the all time greatest finals. They lose to a late Kroos long-range effort after drawing level twice to Mandzukic close-range headers, Hazard and Oscar the scorers.
The Sun:
SWEET REVENGE FOR BAYERN AS BLUES FAIL AT THE LAST
The Independent:
FOOTBALL A RARE COMMODITY AS BOREMASTER MOURINHO IS SHOWN UP BY PROFESSOR GUARDIOLA.
The Daily Star:
NICE TITS LOVE (CHELSEA LOSE)
The Daily Mail:
50M FLOP TORRES DRAWS BLANK AGAIN AS CHELSEA CRUMBLE.
ESPN:
BAYERN SCORE LATE WINNER IN THE OFFENCE ZONE AGAINST CHELSEA BLUES TO SEAL EURO CUP WIN.
Marca:
BODYBLOW TO CHELSEA AS TORRES MULLS TRANSFER REQUEST AFTER LIKELY BUSTUP WITH MOURINHO, VALENCIA LIKELY DESTINATION AFTER A EUR10M BID IS LODGED.
Scenario 5:
Arsenal beaten by Bayern Munich in the final of the Champions League after a cracking five goal thriller in one of the all time greatest finals. They lose to a late Kroos long-range effort after drawing level twice to Mandzukic close-range headers, Djourou and Walcott the scorers.
The Sun:
UNLUCKY ARSENAL COME SO CLOSE TO GLORY
The Independent:
FOOTBALL THE WINNER AS ARSENAL COME DESPERATELY CLOSE AND LEAVE AS MORAL VICTORS.
The Daily Star:
NICE TITS LOVE (ARSENAL LOSE)
The Daily Mail:
50M FLOP TORRES SHOWN UP AS DISMAL FAILURE AS MANDZUKIC FIRES BAYERN TO EURO GLORY.
ESPN:
BAYERN SCORE LATE WINNER IN THE OFFENCE ZONE AGAINST ARSENAL HOTSPURS TO SEAL EURO CUP WIN TITLE BELT.
Marca:
BODYBLOW TO CHELSEA AS HAZARD MULLS TRANSFER REQUEST AFTER LIKELY BUSTUP WITH MOURINHO, MADRID LIKELY DESTINATION AFTER A EUR15M BID IS LODGED. MEANWHILE LUCKY BAYERN WIN THE CORRUPT EUROPEAN TROPHY THAT THEY CHEATED TWO SPANISH TEAMS OUT OF A PLACE IN THE FINAL AGAIN AFTER DARING TO SCORE MORE GOALS THAN BARCA AND REAL WHICH AS WE KNOW IS NOT POSSIBLE AND INDICATION OF CHEATING, UEFALONA ENQUIRY TO FOLLOW WHERE HOPEFULLY REAL AND BARCA WILL BE ALLOWED TO CONTEST THE CORRECT EUROPEAN FINAL AS AN EL CLASSICO WHICH AS EVERYONE KNOWS IS THE BEST FOOTBALL MATCH EVER AND ANYTHING ELSE IS ANTI-FOOTBALL AND SHOULD THEREFORE BE BANNED. WE’VE HAD A WORD WITH PLATINI, DONT WORRY.
Scenario 6:
Torres scores four as Chelsea humble Man United 5-0 at the Bridge to take a huge step toward the title.
The Sun:
FIVE UP BLUES ON BRINK AFTER RACISM STORM
The Independent:
FOOTBALL A RARE COMMODITY AS BOREMASTER MOURINHO’S GOOD FORTUNE PROVES TOO MUCH FOR PLUCKY BRAVE UNITED.
The Daily Star:
NICE TITS LOVE (CHELSEA WIN)
The Daily Mail:
MOSES SCORES TAP IN FOR CHELSEA IN MEANINGLESS GAME; UNITED STILL FAVOURITES FOR TITLE.
ESPN:
HOT SHOT TORRES NOW MVP FOR CHELSEA CITY BLUES UNITED AS MANCHESTER ARE TRASHED FIVE TO NIL.
Marca:
BODYBLOW TO CHELSEA AS OSCAR MULLS TRANSFER REQUEST AFTER LIKELY BUSTUP WITH MOURINHO, BARCA LIKELY DESTINATION AFTER A EUR9M BID IS LODGED. ‘I WANT TO PLAY FOR A BEAUTIFUL TEAM
You get the idea.
All so predictable. Everyone hates us. Whatever.
At times like this I’m compelled to remember a song that those of us lucky enough to go to the Bridge (and indeed a few who arent) sing about such things.
It goes:
Fark em all. Fark em all.
United, West Ham, Liverpool.
Cos we are the Chelsea and we are the best.
We are the Chelsea so fark all the rest.
Fark em all.
Sing along at home if you know the tune!
CAREFREE.
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