Date: 16th May 2013 at 5:02pm
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Congratulations to the Blues the world over!

We finally did it, against all odds. We’re doubly champions of Europe indeed. Twice as Champs! Bravo!

Yesterday at the Amsterdam ArenA, history was made, but not without us learning a few things that were before now mostly…,oh well…

1. Torres likes playing against Benfica

Our £50m hit-man obviously likes playing against Benfica as he ensured he increased his goal tally against the Portuguese club by adding yet another goal, one that almost took an eternity to touch the back of the net, Chelsea’s first on the night, to the two strikes he scored against them while yet a Liverpool striker! Here at VC we say gracias, gracias, gracias amigo to the blonde bloke, even as we ‘demand’ that that now-rested black mask of his be kept in a safe corner in our museum for the upcoming Lukaku and probably, Islam Feruz…just in case.

2. Torres loves the Europa league – more than Abramovich and Obi Mikel combined!

As FT9 was busy trying to cement his status as Mr. Europa League by scoring his 6th strike in 9 games, a conspicuous absence was club owner RA who, instead of being Platini’s special guest, left the former French maestro and UEFA supremo to become ‘skilfully’ sandwiched by the fearsome legendary duo of Portuguese Eusebio and Dutch Cruyff! Now, what in the world was RA thinking, seeing as Mikel Obi who only recently disclosed his avowed obdurate ‘hatred’ for the Europa League was the first non-starter to hoist the trophy as frantically as David Luiz couldn’t imagine necessary! Even Luiz himself didn’t look too impressed and enthused!

3. Lampard’s still got it!

As though Fergie’s ‘One that got away’ wasn’t satisfied with not just matching but shattering Tambling’s 40-year golden record, our captain on the night ensured that not only will the Benfica goal-tender remember him for the rest of his life, but also that his goal record will stay save for a long, long time as he showed his evergreen ability to hit footie, hit it the way the Robbie Savages, Xabi Alonso, John Arnse Riise and the Roberto Carloses of this world would be proud of! #SignHimUpGourlay

4. Ivanovic has a conscience!

The ever-loyal Serb was vilified and derided by sections of our fans and press alike in the roles he played in ensuring that Rafa ‘enjoyed’ so much hate, venom and spite of the Stamford Bridge crowd throughout the months of February and March, in Swansea! Well, the wily no-nonsense enterprising Iva stepped up, sorry, rose up, hung in the air (whoever said only Messi and Ronaldo could manage such audacious audacity against the natural law of gravity?), to head home the winner seconds before stoppage time! Thanks Iva for making amends. Now can I please ask for a pay-rise for our dear Serb saviour?

5. Mata doesn’t like finals

Our little Spanish technician clearly doesn’t like playing in a club final – just earlier rounds and never the big nights! So bad was his passes and general performance that Ramires was the most obvious player in a blue shirt on the night! That said it all. Thus, if our best player is to reach any of the Iniesta or Xavi heights for both club and country, he’d do well to serve his best for the big nights – he wasn’t so brilliant at the Allianz Arena last term, was he?

6. Benfica are chokers

Having lost their previous major 5 finals prior to last night’s, one would’ve thought the Portuguese capital side would take the initiative from the jaded Blues and get the business done. No, they wouldn’t, rather they’d follow up their abysmal showing at the weekend by all but surrendering the Portuguese championship to arch-rivals FC Porto, by choking under 2nd-half pressure from Chelsea by conceding a late goal right at the death! One can only empathize with them as they try, with their Jesus, to figure out what had hit ’em! Or do they sack Jesus?

7. What we may likely learn this Sunday:
Everton who has nothing to play for will be coming all-guns-blazing when they visit us at the Bridge with their departing manager and United’s manager-in-waiting, a la Bayern’s Pep, hoping to spoil our fun via directives from the United ‘up-stairs’! But sorry Moyes, oh Fergie, it just won’t work! We got Lampard, u don’t! Well, didn’t. Lol