It may be spring and the temperature might still be a little chilly here in the south but up in the north-west they seem to have developed a new form of energy to raise the temperature and lower the fuel bills. It?s called hot air!
With the FA Cup semi-final now only a matter of days away, I suppose I shouldn?t be surprised that those associated with El Liverpool have reverted to type and started to spout absolute drivel.
You would have thought that after talking up their chances in the Premiership fixture, at Anfield, and suffering an embarrassing 4-1 reverse they?d be reluctant to come out of their shabby shell suits, sadly we couldn?t be more wrong.
Whilst we await for some more inane mutterings from the likes of Jamie Carragher, with regard to the forthcoming clash, it transpires that the Spanish duo of Luis Garcia and Fernando Morientes have taken the opportunity to fire the first offerings in our direction.
Speaking to the media, that resident wit (or should that be twit) Garcia suggests,
?Liverpool always cause Chelsea problems, Mourinho must fear us because after each game his head must really hurt. The semi final is coming at the best time of the season for us. I don?t think there is a big difference between the two teams.?
Now far from me to collapse in hysterics on the floor clutching my stomach as I struggle to control my mirth but the Spaniard has obviously forgotten that in the last four games against us El Liverpool have scored a measly once to our six times.
Indeed, in recent times we can boast a leisurely 4-1 stroll at Anfield and, a 2-0 win at Stamford Bridge this season, two 1-0 wins in the Premiership last season, a 3-2 victory in the Carling Cup Final thereby making it five wins. What can they muster? A solitary 1-0 win in that semi-final last season. Apart from that there are the remaining three 0-0 draws. So you work out who has had the rub of the green in recent times?
As for the suggestion that ?after each game his head must really hurt? perhaps that?s down to the persistent drone that emanates from those who inhabit that far from wonderful city bellowing in his ear for ninety minutes.
There again he could be having severe trouble working out how a team that finished thirty-seven points behind us last year managed to bag all the luck in the world to win the Champions League.
Or, perhaps he?s simply trying to work out if Stevie Gerrard will once again debate whether to up sticks and move to southern climes this close season.
Morientes, having his tuppance worth remarks,
?I think Chelsea were a much harder outfit to beat when they were winning easily. But now the season is catching up with them. They don?t have that invincible air about them any more.?
Clearly the Spaniard, who is not a regular, has conveniently forgotten that it is El Liverpool who should fear the season catching up on them. After all, didn?t they start back in June after they squabbled their way back into a Champions League they hadn?t qualified for?
Elsewhere but still remaining in the north-west, in the city of Manchester Sir Alex Ferguson, obviously seeking solace in the fact that the Easter miracle he was praying for didn?t happen, continues to offer a brave, but some would say red, face. Speaking to the media following Tottenham?s apparent capitulation against his side, this knight of the realm could only jest,
?Is it still April 9th??
Clearly a reference to the date of the West Ham fixture when the media totally misinterpreted a remark made by Fergie?s Portuguese conqueror. The Special One wasn?t suggesting we?d win the next eight games on the trot (although obviously he hoped we would) but indicating that eight more wins from our remaining games would be all it would take.
Nevermind Fergie, why let the truth get in the way of a good story? Or is the truth that the north-west is suffering from a SW6 domination too unpalatable to consider? Try telling your little joke to Mr Glazer and see if it tickles him?
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