Meanwhile, at one of the two most unpopular of the Spanish news agencies…
Reporter: Dear Boss, Ancelotti has just signed for Real. Do you want me to write an ‘exclusive’ on how he will try to seal the Gareth Bale and Isco deals within this weekend?
Editor: Fark that shit, nobody is interested in that, any new articles on Mourinho bashing?
Reporter: I just created a fake story last week on how authorities are after him for tax fraud! And the week before that, on how he wants to sell Juan Mata at 40% of his market price! And the week before that, on how he doesn’t have Luiz and Ivanovic in his plans and wants to toss them out nearly for free! How many more do you want?
Editor: Weekly isn’t enough! We want to create such trashy stories on him on a daily basis! You understand the meaning of daily, don’t you? If you can’t, I will hire some cheap fiction writer of 3rd grade movies to write stories on him!
Reporter: Boss, why are you kicking my stomach, my livelihood? I am more than capable of writing trashier stories! Just give me some moments to make up a story..
(After some moments…)
Reporter: Hey Boss, how will be this headline, ‘Jose accused of Murder!!’
Editor: Wow!! Good job!! The reason I hired you in the first place was to create the trashiest headlines!! You have made me proud today!! Nobody has dared to write such a headline till now, it will be our ‘exclusivi’est’ of the exclusive!!
Reporter: (Shying) Thanks Boss !! It means a lot to me to be praised by you!
Editor: Good, but if his lawyers attack us, we need to have some explanation.. What do you think of that matter?
Reporter: Don’t worry, we won’t tell on who was murdered or how the murder took place. If asked for a clarification, we’ll say it was some random poor ant which Mourinho had stepped over while rushing out of the tunnel at Bernabeu in April. And we will also say that, the ant’s presence in Bernabeu’s premises makes it a Real supporter. So we can say that he is accused of murdering one of his team’s supporters! Wow!!
Editor: Great!! Fantastic!! Now get on to work, oops, i mean, trashy work.
Reporter: Yes Boss, by evening the trashy story will be ready!
(This story is unreal and just meant for gags. Not intended to hurt anybody’s feelings. But hey, if Chelsea supporters’ and its manager’s feelings are hurt every day, its fair to give a little back to the place from where all this trash comes from!)
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