Anyone seen the Fernando Torres nonsense in the papers? No not yesterday’s or Tuesday’s – I’m talking about today’s. And probably tomorrow’s. And well into next week by the sounds of it. 2012 looks like being much the same…
There is a long line of people just desperate to stick the boot into Fernando Torres since he joined, and the poor bloke must wonder why he gets up in the morning. The vitriol and hatred he has incurred since he joined us from Liverpool has been incredible, but that’s just typical of the vile side of British psyche. Talented boy turned his back on the club that made him (no, Liverpool not Atletico!) for more money. Stained the tradition and history of the club that made him for dirty Russian new money gained off the backs of Russian peasants. And orphans. And poorly donkeys. Probably. We as a nation are incapable of being happy for the lad – he is by definition a shining example of respectless, mannerless scumbag youth we are blighted with here. Obsessed with money and material things, and has no respect for his elders etc.
Except that nobody in this country save for his friends and family have any idea who Fernando Torres really is, what he is like etc.
Worst of all is Damien Commolli who has been spouting off the usual Cult of Liverpool claptrap about how he wasn’t that good and how they are all better of without him, and ‘how a dark cloud has lifted’ now that the heretic has gone.
If that’s the case, then how come they wont shut up about it?
Now I think Commolli’s comments are actually worse than the throwabout banter heard in pubs and offices across the land. In the latter case, the brain-dead dribbing tabloid junkie mongs read the bile spouted by heir own representative mouthpieces in the the tabloids, read it again, look at the picture, read it again and then just about get what the writing is about before then repeating said sentiment as their own views to anyone who will listen. But in the case of Commolli, he is a smart guy. He needs to score political points at the Liverpool hierarchy and in full view of the new owners, so he plays to the fans. Tell them something they want to hear! So he listens to what the not-at-all-obsessed Liverpool faithful, so impressive in the home banker against Braga, are whining to each other, gets out a scouse translation book, throws it in the bin, goes to find a translator, and then finally logs onto the Liverpool fan sites so he can just see it in written form. Calling the scouser translator back in, after several hours and much scratching of heads, he finally gets the gist of it. They are gutted that Torres left to join – of all people – Chelsea. They are unhappy. They think he is a mercenary scumbag. Right. He’ll be thinking:
– So if I just slag off Torres and say we’re better off without him – feed their delusion – then hopefully they’ll forget I am a former Sp*rs mercenary scumbag money man, and accept me as a true disciple of their daft little ‘religion’? –
Sounds like a plan!
The saddest thing of all is how the Liverpool fans lap it up. Supposedly the best, most knowledgeable fans in the world just completely taken in like so many clapping seals by such obvious pandering and thinly-veiled PR guff. You’d expect the likes of John Aldridge to lap it up but then he’s not the fastest crowbar in the SWAG bag is he? And anyway it just makes him look like he knows what he is talking about and is somehow ‘in the know’ rather than just being a not-very-clever former player, that 90% of their fanbase have no idea who he is, and that he is living off past glories like the rest of their small army of ‘we were good once’ clingons. But Liverpool fans are supposed to be smarter than that?
Arent they?
Well actually no.
In the revisionist history stakes, they have a little bit of form, as anyone who has read their posts on our site will know. Their Mullah-esque, finger pointing diatribes on our site about how we are all infidels, lower than dogs and how our Godless ways will lead to eternal damnation, whereas they are assured of the title next season in Paradise with 99 virgins etc is a little boring, but we live with it.
At some point you have to stop, take a breath and relax. They are bizarre, sad little people and we’ll never understand them. I’ve just about given up trying. You cant reason with them. Its a bit like trying to convince your average religious fundamentalist nutter that blowing up, stoning, unlawfully evicting or burning alive innocents is not something He was generally supportive of, being All Merciful and All Knowing and all… They aren’t listening and you do run the risk of getting a kicking or worse if you keep trying to open their minds. They are happy living in the Middle Ages and don’t you dare try to tell them that the world has moved on since then, or indeed since Liverpool last won the league.
What should be take from this whole sorry Torres saga?
He’s better off here, that’s for sure. I’m sure he is wondering what on earth he ever saw in those small-minded, small-time little people – I know we are! The fact is that when he starts banging in the goals for us – and he will – then they are going to look a little bit silly when their strikers huff and puff live on Channel 5 away at the team that finished fifth in the Maltese or Andorran league. Ignore their red-faced bluster. Sure – you are better off without one of the absolute finest strikers on the planet. Sure – he isnt actually that good. Sure – his movement is cack. Sure – Suarez and N’Gog are much better. Sure – he will never score a goal for Chelsea. Sure – 99% of the goals he scored for Liverpool were made and created by Steven Gerrard. Sure – he’ll be on loan at Havant & Waterlooville next season. Sure.
Bless.
CAREFREE!!!
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